The biggest loser

Well I guess, there are somethings in life I'm just not cut out to be. It's a bit of a disappointment when it comes, because I just want to keep on fighting, keep on going. However, after many tries and attempts, reason comes to play and my mind tells me,"Dude, maybe you should just stop it. You're not fated to win in this field."Yet temptations sits there starring at me, the mind says not the body does so otherwise. And yet, another attempted failure. Maybe it's better of diverting my efforts to something else. Which has been successful for the past few months until today. However, I felt a sense of deja vu. Will this same old story haunt me again?


Maybe perhaps I am fated this way. To learn things the hard way, some people get it easy. But for me, I already know where this is taking me. It's going to take me the long winding road, nothing easy about that. But the lesson learn along the track, priceless. Life is not as easy as my peers, in some aspects I'm better off, in others, I'm not. Then this questions comes back to me, am I on top of the ladder? Although in this field, I'm the biggest loser. I keep coming back to the trap that set me to this spiral thought. It's like a drug that stops you from feeling pain. When the pain comes, you automatically pop a pill into your mouth.

Perhaps, it just best talking about it. Because I am already the biggest loser in this case. I know the saying goes, once bitten twice shy. But I guess for me, its so many times I got bitten in the arse, and still haven't came to become shy.

Wave goodbye to greed.